Friday, August 1, 2014

WHAM: Learning101

Six months after I gave birth I knew I wanted to work. But I'm always torn by the idea that I'm leaving my child to someone I do not fully know. After a year or so I decided to apply online but my husband interjected. It's not that he doesn't like me working but we have the same train of thought when it comes to taking care of our Gaby. We have a series of what if's in our head. So I gave in. But after a year and a half of perfectly being idle, my online presence is back. Thanks to my previous employer who hired me again.

It's been two weeks since I started my home base job and it's quite a mess. It's not easy to handle everything on your own, from household task, my toddler, and my work. I need to balance everything. Thanks to my hubby who's helping me when he's at home after work. But I do understand that I should get use to it alone with the nature of his job. I can't expect him to be always at home.

One thing I've learned is that I should stop being a control freak and a nagger. This won't lead us somewhere better. A constant reminder to myself is I should talk to her everyday, that I need to work and that it's for us. That I need to help her father in securing our future and our daily needs.

Although I can't remove the fact that she acts out whenever her wants were not met with the desired results. Like going out for a walk, when I'm working. But I'm trying my best to understand and to subdue my temper. Contrary to what my ego tells me, I'm putting my child as the center of my universe and not me.